Friday, April 11, 2008
Psychic Vampires
Years ago, I read an article in True Love about Psychic Vampires. Its not as crazy as you might be imagining, but almost everyone knows someone like this.A Psychic Vampire is someone who is almost always in bad situations, he/she complains bitterly about their predicaments, dumps on you, and walks right back into the same situation all over again.I dont know if I am explaining myself well, but sometimes when I get very excited, I cant express myself well. Let me use an example instead.Girls, maybe you have a friend, okay? She is in an abusive relationship, her boyfriend constantly cheats on her, beats her, takes all her money and puts her down on a daily basis. Everyday, she is either calling you on the phone, or talking to you about this guy, she tells you all these scary nasty things about this guy, and you (in righteous indignation, or mostly sympathy for a friend) start to see this guy like the enemy. After a while, you begin to wonder why she does not just walk away from this relationship, you talk it over with her, and she says she wants to, but she cant because of one thing or the other, now you and her start plotting ways to "dump the loser" and she is with you all the way. After a while, she tells you she has decided to stay. You wonder and ponder, then shrug and move on, until 2 weeks later, she calls you again and tells you of the new girl her boyfriend is seeing on the side, the cycle continues...Or you have the common case of your friend, who never has anything good happening to them. They are constantly in trouble, hurt, angry or some other negative emotion. Psychic Vampires dump all their emotions on you, they are constantly complaining about their lives and situations, having these kind of friends can be emotionally draining, because when they tell you their stories, they have set themselves free in a way, and now, you are the one with the problem. Worse, they never appreciate anything you have done, they want a magician for a friend who would *poof* away their problems, sometimes, some of them even turn around to blame you for their predicament!!In my soon to be 27 years on earth, I have come across people like this. I had a friend in secondary school who would even pull me out of class, just to tell me one new problem or the other, nothing good ever seemed to happen to her. She was too skinny, no one liked her, she was sure her parents were getting a divorce, bla bla bla. I would listen to her, hold her hand, cry with her even, and then one day I overheard her tell someone that I was always following her around or something silly like that. It hurt,real bad. But in that article, they tell you how to avoid situations like these,one-tell the person outright that you'd prefer to talk about something else. two-avoid the person for a bit. three- check yourself, sometimes people enjoy listening to all the stories, and they loose it.four-remind yourself, that all of this is not your bizness!!If you are a psychic Vampire- if u are in a bad situation, and you dont wanna walk away, then please, keep quiet, and stay!! And for those of you who like me think we know it all, and are constantly shelling out advice, trust me, you can never know it all!!
Monday, April 7, 2008
My friend got married yesterday, and its got me feeling all squishy inside. He is a sweet, calm guy has had his heart broken a couple of times, and we did a lot of talking then. Well, when he met this girl, he went on and on about how he loved her, and how she was a good girl, but I was a bit sceptical, y'know. Now he's married and its struck me, we are all grown up! I have to start making serious decisions, acting responsibly and all that!!
I am going to miss him, because even though we all live in the same town, its not going to be the same again.
I am going to miss him, because even though we all live in the same town, its not going to be the same again.
Amor de mi vida
Ever since I was a kid, people have always fascinated me. I grew to love busy places, especiallyy the airports, because that way I got to see different kinds of people, and I would make up (in my mind that is) stories about them.
I would see a couple kiss each other, hold each other so tight, the womans eyes bright with unshed tears, the man struggling to be brave and not cry, and I would imagine the man to be a top-shot executive who has to travel often, who has a loving wife who cant bare to see him go.
I would also see a man maybe dressed in pointed shoes, high-waist trousers, probably in some loud color, yelling down the phone to the person on the other side of it and the world at large, and I would conclude that he is an Ibo man.(No offense!!)
Anyway, my love for airports led me to the next thing-travel. I have not been to that many places, but I have been in and out of quite a few airports.
Well, once on a trip out of Calabar to Lagos, I did my usual scanning of the airport, and my eyes fell on this really good-looking guy. I judged him to be quite a bit older than me(I was 23 at the time),somewhere between 38-40. He had on a shirt that screamed designers and did justice to his broad shoulders, nice bvlgari shades (yes, I scoped him that closely), nicely fitted trousers and charcoal black, with no visible crease, then on his left hand, a beautiful gold ring winked at me!! I rolled my eyes in disdain, then I smiled to myself, cos I was like this guy is way older than me, anyways what should I have expected??
I moved on to this chubby baby that was making his voice heard all over the place.
Next thing I kew, it was time to board, and surprise surpise, a couple of minutes later guess who was seated beside me- Mr Gorgeous himself. I gave him the smile that had worked on most men, from age 2 till eternity and said hello. He grinned shook my hand and asked if he could be seated.
During the course of the plane ride, we talked and joked about everything! He was funny, witty and charming, and he gave me some brandy too. We did not exchange numbers, or names or personal details, we parted ways.
Months later, I was on a flight from Lagos to Abuja, we had set off already, and then the air hostess comes and asks me if I would like an upgrade to Bizness class! I said yes, and hurried before she changed her mind, and seated there by the window was Mr Mc Gorgeous again! He asked if I remembered him, (I said yes,I am without guile like that) and asked me to sit down. He called me by my name, and I nearly fainted, cos I knew he did not know it, he said he had stolen a glance at my flight tkt, that he'd enjoyed my company and wanted to put a name to the face. We did what we do best-TALK! and this time, I got his number.
We talked every day on the phone, and I kept saying to myself this is crazy! I could not date anyone for a while, because I was so wrapped up in him and our long conversations. We talked about anything and everything. This "thing" went on for ages. It turns out he was a widower, and had been for years. He asked me if I would be opposed to marriage to him, I was stunned and I said I would have to think about it.
After about two years of talking on the phone, he called me one night and said, he had fallen in love with me, but he knows he cant tell me to marry him, because I was very young, and had my life ahead of me, he said he will always love me, but he has to set me free, and by this he meant we should have a break in communication.
Tears flowed freely, because I knew what he said was true, I sure wasn't ready for all of that, but I did not want to let go as well. It really hurt, almost like a physical pain, when he refused to pick my calls, or reply my e-mails, but aftyer a while, I got over it. Life in its beautiful way does go on. I have not heard from him since, but one thing is sure I will never forget him. He has changed the way I look at airports now.
I would see a couple kiss each other, hold each other so tight, the womans eyes bright with unshed tears, the man struggling to be brave and not cry, and I would imagine the man to be a top-shot executive who has to travel often, who has a loving wife who cant bare to see him go.
I would also see a man maybe dressed in pointed shoes, high-waist trousers, probably in some loud color, yelling down the phone to the person on the other side of it and the world at large, and I would conclude that he is an Ibo man.(No offense!!)
Anyway, my love for airports led me to the next thing-travel. I have not been to that many places, but I have been in and out of quite a few airports.
Well, once on a trip out of Calabar to Lagos, I did my usual scanning of the airport, and my eyes fell on this really good-looking guy. I judged him to be quite a bit older than me(I was 23 at the time),somewhere between 38-40. He had on a shirt that screamed designers and did justice to his broad shoulders, nice bvlgari shades (yes, I scoped him that closely), nicely fitted trousers and charcoal black, with no visible crease, then on his left hand, a beautiful gold ring winked at me!! I rolled my eyes in disdain, then I smiled to myself, cos I was like this guy is way older than me, anyways what should I have expected??
I moved on to this chubby baby that was making his voice heard all over the place.
Next thing I kew, it was time to board, and surprise surpise, a couple of minutes later guess who was seated beside me- Mr Gorgeous himself. I gave him the smile that had worked on most men, from age 2 till eternity and said hello. He grinned shook my hand and asked if he could be seated.
During the course of the plane ride, we talked and joked about everything! He was funny, witty and charming, and he gave me some brandy too. We did not exchange numbers, or names or personal details, we parted ways.
Months later, I was on a flight from Lagos to Abuja, we had set off already, and then the air hostess comes and asks me if I would like an upgrade to Bizness class! I said yes, and hurried before she changed her mind, and seated there by the window was Mr Mc Gorgeous again! He asked if I remembered him, (I said yes,I am without guile like that) and asked me to sit down. He called me by my name, and I nearly fainted, cos I knew he did not know it, he said he had stolen a glance at my flight tkt, that he'd enjoyed my company and wanted to put a name to the face. We did what we do best-TALK! and this time, I got his number.
We talked every day on the phone, and I kept saying to myself this is crazy! I could not date anyone for a while, because I was so wrapped up in him and our long conversations. We talked about anything and everything. This "thing" went on for ages. It turns out he was a widower, and had been for years. He asked me if I would be opposed to marriage to him, I was stunned and I said I would have to think about it.
After about two years of talking on the phone, he called me one night and said, he had fallen in love with me, but he knows he cant tell me to marry him, because I was very young, and had my life ahead of me, he said he will always love me, but he has to set me free, and by this he meant we should have a break in communication.
Tears flowed freely, because I knew what he said was true, I sure wasn't ready for all of that, but I did not want to let go as well. It really hurt, almost like a physical pain, when he refused to pick my calls, or reply my e-mails, but aftyer a while, I got over it. Life in its beautiful way does go on. I have not heard from him since, but one thing is sure I will never forget him. He has changed the way I look at airports now.
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